Do you know blogger Sarah Sapora of Sarah Plus Life? If not, you might want to become acquainted with her. She’s absolutely gorgeous, has such an upbeat attitude and great style. I’m personally not crazy about how she sometimes conflates weight loss with improving her health… which she’s been pursing in the last year…. but that’s not the topic at hand. For now she’s not promoting weight loss diets, surgery or products so that’s a plus (no pun intended).
Last week she posted a blog with photos of herself wearing a bikini and not only did she look AMAZING but also incredibly happy and confident. The blog and photos went viral over social media and,of course, out came the trolls.
Because we can’t have a fat, happy, confident woman and just leave it at that, right?
Here’s a sampling of comments on Facebook pages where Sarah’s post/photo was shared:
“I am a big girl my self. I wouldn’t wear that damn think (sic) if I was a size 2. When are folks gonna admit that bigger curvy women CAN NOT dress the same as smaller women. Be proud of who you are at any size but, have damn sense enough to know what’s tacky.”
“Blubber is ugly. As a plus sized person I have every right to say that.”
“Stop making FAT fashionable!… I am MORBIDLY OBESE which is how I know that this IS NOT OK!… They shouldn’t even make bikinis in plus size. GROSS.“
“As a full figured female, I think this lacks a bit of taste and class. We can be beautiful, which in my opinion she is a stunning woman, but the idea that we as full figured women are trying to match the smaller women is absolutely appalling to me.”
“A woman that size should not wear that kind of bathing suit it is not pretty… I am a very large woman but I have pride in my body to know when to cover and what to cover.”
“I don’t see why being overweight should be glamourised ( just as being under weight). I’m big, comfort Ate (sic)… but id never flaunt around in a bikini with all my fat hanging out . It’s just not nice and I don’t see how people flaunting their bits equates to inner happiness?”
Did you notice a pattern?
Where there are photos of fat women loving themselves and their bodies, there are inevitably comments that begin with “I’m a big/fat/plus-size woman but…” It’s as though the writers feel they possesses the extra-special, by-golly right to make disparaging remarks and pass judgement on fat women because, well, they’re also fat. They believe they’re not being mean. Instead they’re being “honest” and their size gives them special dispensation. Their truth is supposed to be our truth.
My reply to such comments is some version of the following:
I get it: you, personally, would never wear a bikini, striped shirt, short skirt, crop top, etc. Maybe you haven’t yet learned to love the image in the mirror. Maybe you’re not comfortable in an outfit that doesn’t hide or disguise your body. Whatever the reason, that’s your choice. It’s your body to do with and clothe as you please.
Your size doesn’t give you the right to presume or even try to dictate what we should wear or do. Why troll when you see photos of us being confident and happy? And, make no mistake, you’re as much a troll as those who make fun of us fat folks simply because we exist in our bodies, never mind being confident, happy and rocking outfits that make us feel beautiful.
I respect your choice. Please also respect mine and women like Sarah. We should lift each other up, not knock each other down.